I've spent the last few years commenting about how rude and disrespectful it was for professional athletes to fail to remove their headgear during the National Anthem. I mean, the person over the PA speakers even says "please remove your headgear". I don't really do it out of respect for the country, the flag, or anything like that. I do it out of respect for the people around me.
Now before I continue, I just want to go on record as stating that this is one of the most polarizing issues in the United States today, and it's one that tends to get overlooked because no one ever dares to take the opposite side of the aisle for fear of being publicly ostracized. With that said, I want to emphasize that my goal is to attain and maintain civil discourse.
Before we can delve further into this topic, we need to establish some baselines. For starters, conflict is positive. Repeat that ten times. Conflict is positive. If people never disagreed, then we would never accomplish anything. I am truly blessed that I currently work on a small team of people where constant disagreement is the norm, but we do it in a way that leads to productive results. I love every minute of it.
Disagreement and conflict are practically synonyms, and one of the keys to success in life, no matter what one is trying to achieve, is effective conflict resolution skills. There are four different ways that a person can deal with conflict, but there is really only one right way. The four ways are:
1. Aggressive
2. Passive
3. Passive-Aggressive
4. Assertiveness
People who pursue conflict aggressively tend to cause problems. Aggressiveness tends to cue one of two common responses. The target will either cower in fear, or the target will lash back. Neither one of these situations leads to anything productive.
People who attend to conflict passively aren't doing anyone any favors because they aren't making their voices heard. I firmly believe that everyone on this planet has the obligation to make his or her voice heard in the topics that he or she is passionate about. Extreme passiveness, also called avoidance, tends to not work to avoid conflict at all. It only prolongs the inevitable, oftentimes making it worse.
Passive-Aggressive people act aggressively in a passive way, and they tend to cause the most problems due to the miscommunication that oftentimes results. The only time passive-aggressiveness should even be an option is if it is done mockingly or as a joke.
Assertiveness is really the only way to manage conflict effectively. People should always go into arguments with a desire to be heard and an ability to compromise. If you don't possess both of these qualities, then get the fuck out of the way so that the rest of us can make some progress.
Colin Kaepernick's decision to sit during the Star-Spangled Banner was an extremely effective and assertive way to address a disagreement that is happening right now in this country.
He could have been aggressive and burned a bunch of American flags. Because that sure does accomplish things. He could just let things keep on keeping on, but that's no way to live if you feel passionately about something. He could have been passive aggressive and went along with the status quo while mocking it. None of those things accomplish anything, though, so he chose to take the assertive route.
Colin Kaepernick probably spent the last six months thinking that he was a dwindling NFL player in the twilight of his career who probably won't ever get a chance to see the national spotlight again. He has something that he needs to say. What can he do to accomplish that?
He chose pretty much the only thing he had in his arsenal. The backlash has been astronomical, but I have to wonder if it was because of the action or because of the message that he intended to send.
Given the fact that I see at least a dozen NFL players refusing to doff their headgear every time I see the national anthem being played, I have to believe it was because of the latter. And that makes me fear that America is a far more racist country than I ever imagined.
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